Mission 2: Operation "Weally Bad Idea"

Thissen nuts. Mesa gotta stealen der most treasured possessions of one of der galaxy's most powerful families. Der tings mesa do for mesa job...
At least Count Dooku comen with mesa. Although, thassen mebbe a bad ting...
Count Dooku: Tally ho, what what? This'll be an absolute cracker of a mission, don't you agree?
Jar Jar: Er... yesss...
Count Dooku: And Lord Sidi- er... Chancellor Palpatine even said I could take a piece or two of treasure for my own collection! The crown jewels of Serenno are so frightfully dreary, you know.
Jar Jar: Wonderfullen.
Wesa were on Alderaan, at der front door of Princess Leia's palace. Wesa were wearen cameras around oursa necks to disguisen oursaselves as tourists. Count Dooku wassen taken a lot of pictures of der mountains.
Jar Jar: So... howsa wesa gonna getten in?
Count Dooku: Join a tour, I assume. Hesa holden up a camera. These disguises really do work wonders, you know, Jam Jar.
Jar Jar: Issen Jar Jar.
Count Dooku: Oh, sorry. My maste- I mean, the Chancellor, said your name was Jam Jar.
Jar Jar: Grr...
Count Dooku: Hmm. Although, this Leia is still alive and living here, isn't she? Normally they don't give tours of occupied palaces. I certainly wouldn't let anyone take tours of *my* mansion on Serenno.
Jar Jar: So, how?
Count Dooku: Well, I could use a mind trick on the guard - although, whenever a plan calls for the use of a mind trick, the guards always turn out to be Toydarian - or I could cut a hole in the wall or window with my lightsabre, or we could tunnel in with plastic spoons, or-
Jar Jar: Or wesa could do thissen! Mesa threw a booma at der door guard. Hesa wassen knocken out.
Count Dooku: That could work.

Der inside of der palace wassen huge! So many rooms, and so many doors... When wesa found der treasure rooms, theresa turnen out to be about fifty vaults.
Count Dooku: Ooh, if only we had time to loot this place properly, eh what? There's so much in here I would love to reappropriate. Ah, yes, this vault looks likely, it has the Alderaanian coat of arms on it.
Jar Jar: Issen two crossed forks with a blue background.
Count Dooku: Yes, I believe Leia had the coat of arms changed.
Hesa starten to cutten through der vault door with hissen lightsabre. Den, three forks thudded into der wall next to der door.
Princess Leia: What do you think you're doing here?
Shesa wassen looken berry angry. Shesa wassen wearen a leather bandolier filled with forks, and had a fork in each hand.
Count Dooku: Don't worry, Jar Jar, I'll handle this.
Hesa pullen hissen lightsabre out of der door and getten into a fighting stance.
Princess Leia: What, you think I've never fough Sith before? I wasn't born yesterday, mister!
Shesa pullen a matt black fork out of hersa bandolier and throwen itsa. Count Dooku blocken itsa with hissen lightsabre... and hissen lightsabre fizzed and went out.
Count Dooku: Honestly! Does everyone have cortosis weaponry these days? Hmph.
Princess Leia: Hi-yah!
Mesa hassen never facen a dual-fork-wielding princess of Alderaan before, and, well... mesa noah feelen up to der challenge.
Jar Jar: Hurryen uppen! Cut through der door!
Count Dooku: With this thing? Hissen lightsabre wassen still spluttering. I'd do more damage with a crumpet, frankly.
Jar Jar: Er... Okeyday, mesa will holden hersa off, yousa figuren out der combination lock.
Mesa turnen round and facen Princess Leia.
Princess Leia: Into the garbage chute, frog boy!
Mesa ducked hersa next fork, and starten throwen boomas. Leia blocken themsa all with forks. Shesa good. Shesa berry good. Meanwhile, Dooku wassen fumbling with an electronic lockpick thingy.
Count Dooku: Ah! I have it! Spiffing!
Der door swung open. Mesa ducken another fork and running inside with Dooku. Der crown jewelies were on a table, and Leia's silver fork wassen on a pedestal next to it. One der other side of der table was a pedestal holding a berry large silver spoon. Mesa looken at der spoon, den at Leia.
Princess Leia: Oh no. Don't you get any ideas.
Mesa grabben der spoon and throwen itsa at hersa head.
Princess Leia: Oof!
Shesa collapsen unconscious on der floor.
Count Dooku: So, spoons are her kryptonite? Spiffing! Let's take these jewels and get out of here, shall we? Tally ho!
Jar Jar: Hmm.
Mesa picken up der spoon and putten itsa in mesa pocket. Yousa never knowen when a spoon might be useful.