Friday, August 05, 2005

Jar Jar's Cauldron...

Excepten, issen noah really a cauldron, since wesa issen on Tatooine. Mesa usen a conveniently shaped rock, but issen still good. Issen Friday, so mesa will be teaching yousa about Gungan mystical traditions. Thissen week, Captain Typho hassen asken mesa to demonstraten how to maken love potions. Here wesa goin...


  • There issen many different recipies for love potions, since Gungans hassen been maken themsa for millennia. Mesa will shown yousa how to maken something with ingredients yousa can finden on Tatooine.
  • Yousa needen yousa cauldron (or rock), someting to heaten yousa potion, some water (where mesa gonna getten thatsa?), h'kak beans (theysa issen bright orange - hard to missen), some sprigs of markan herb (thissen maken yousa go "whee!"), mumergy sprigs (yousa mussen be careful - Jabba der Hutt coveten thissen plant 'cause itsa issen maken berry good booze), unt three or four pallies (yousa can buyen themsa at der Tatooine markets).
  • Add der beans to der cauldron unt heat itsa till almost boiled. Thissen will diffuse der flavours through der water.
  • Shred der herbs unt drop themsa into der cauldron.
  • Squeezen der juice of der pallies into der mixture. Yousa mixture issen now complete.
  • Now, yousa needen to adden der magic. Writen on a piece of paper der name of yousa potion's intended target. Rip itsa in two pieces. Eaten half of itsa, unt dump der other half in der cauldron.
  • Leave itsa to simmer for three hours. Den, feeden itsa to yousa target.

Thissen *should* worken.

13 Comments:

Blogger JawaJuice said...

What if the person doesn't have a mouth?

2:48 AM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

...or a nose.

2:48 AM  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

...or a....eh, you know.

2:49 AM  
Blogger Aayla Secura said...

What if they don't have a name?

3:46 AM  
Blogger flu said...

Now I know why you have all the babes...

off to gather h'kak beans!

4:07 AM  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

A word of caution:

Work on Dolly Parton this does not.

Or, uh, so heard I have.

8:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What if the person is allergic to an ingredient? I doubt that would go over well.

10:19 AM  
Blogger Jar Jar Binks said...

Jawajuice: thissen would requiren attention from a specialist in love potions.

Aayla: Give themsa one. Theysa may bein so thankful dat yousa will noah needen der potion.

Yoda: Dolly Parton issen berry strong with der force. Thesen only worken on der weak-minded. For Dolly, yousa needen someting stronger.

Anonymous: Yousa will haven to finden substitutes. Tryen E-Bay.

12:05 PM  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

Thanks, Jar Jar!

Typho scribbles out his shopping list and heads for Coruscant Centre Mall...

3:06 AM  
Blogger Aayla Secura said...

I don't need to use the potion anyway...I have Obi--I mean...um..Jedi are forbidden to engage in relationships, so the potion wouldn't be of great use to me.

9:36 AM  
Blogger jedisiri said...

be a brave girl and admit it,aayla.see i and typho are happy together!

11:33 PM  
Blogger Anakin Skywalker said...

So what happens if it don't work? Do they, like, mutate or whatev?

10:26 AM  
Blogger jedisiri said...

try it and you will know,ani.

4:11 PM  

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